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impsTALK is on holiday
Now we
know who's going to be Boston's league next season, we've started
work updating and revising the rough guides ahead of 2009/2010. We'll
be back back on Wednesday 1 July with the first of them - although
keep checking back for our close season and U21 European championship
podcast that we may or may not record soon.... |
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| PILGRIMS APPOINT JOINT KITMAN Not content with a duo in the boardroom and in the dugout,
Boston United have today acted swiftly to employ a joint
KITMAN.
Robert Dredgemore, 38, has signed a two-year deal at York Street after AFC
United of Swineshead hesitated in signing him up for a further season.
The new arrival will work alongside current kitman Jason
Hatfield for the 2009/2010 season, and United chairman David
Newton is hopeful the partnership will yield dramatic results.
“I
thought long and hard about this as Neil (Kempster) gave
me a back-massage on Thursday night,” Newton told
a packed public press conference this morning.
“We have
the best team bus in non-league football - it's got a toilet
and everything - and I want the cleanest shirts too. That goes for Neil’s
suits as well – those
grass and paint stains are a nightmare.”
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Dredgemore
poses for the cameras |
Meanwhile,
speaking of his delight at joining the Pilgrims, Dredgemore said: “I’m
delighted to be joining the Pilgrims.
“We’re
going places as a laundry unit. Jason and I are very different
personalities who will bring different things to the laundry
room.
“Jason likes to wash with lavender fabric softener at thirty degrees while
separating out the whites. Me? I just sling the whole fucking lot in and hope
for the best.” |
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CHEK WHYTE SHOWER
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Ilkeston chairman drops a rather large bollock
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Thousands crowd into Sportsbar to hear Newton announce: "We're
not getting demoted this season! Oh, yeah, and here are the new
managers... teas all round please Neil"
Having literally just won promotion to whatever that shit-stick
of a league it was we were booted out of last season, you might
have thought Ilkeston Town would have been keen on maintaining
their burgeoning momentum, starting first with offering their hugely
promising management duo of Rob Scott and Paul Hurst new contracts
for 2009/2010.
But
that’s not how things work in Ilkeston.
Instead, Scott and Hurst were, to their obvious bewilderment,
inexplicably given the cold shoulder by the club they had
helped immeasurably after the sudden departure of David Holdsworth
to Mansfield midway through the season.
David
Newton, as one Kent-based malcontent is so keen on reminding
us, is a clever man, and when the pair, disillusioned with
their treatment at the NPL play-off winners, rocked up at York
Street last week, he didn’t
waste a moment snapping them up on two-year deals. Little wonder
he threw open the doors of tonight’s press conference – this
was as perfect an appointment as could be hoped for. Kempster's
coffee wasn't bad either.
Cheers
Chek! Remind us to buy you a pint next time you’re
in Boston. |
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 Eight months, two managers, several
thrashings and 53 rat burgers later, and only now has the full
story of Boston's dreadful 08/09 season has become clear for all
to see: apparently, we missed the NPL play-offs.
Yep, it was awful. But it might easily have been unspeakably worse.
And now it's time to revisit some painful memories as, over the
next few days, impsTALK presents you ungrateful bastards with another
set of those end-of-season review things we did last year. Wince.
Cry. Howl. Attempt suicide. But enough about the quality of the
material, let's crack on examining where it all went wrong, starting
with our Ten Questions series.....>> MORE |
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Nantwich
5, Boston 0 - as it happened!
If you really want
to, you can relive Boston's second humiliating defeat at the hands
of Nantwich of 2009 HERE.
We're just not very good, really, are we?
WARNING:
CONTAINS GRAPHIC INCOMPETENCE AND FOUL LANGUAGE |
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| CONFUSION
REIGNS AT OCID.... 
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From
the archives.......
Two new articles from FBYF for you to savour, both
from the 89/90 season.
Pilgrims Progress
Richard O. Smith rounds up the 89/90 season so far..... MORE
Warren Ward Interview
Ex-Lincoln City forward Warren Ward played three seasons with Boston
United in the mid-1980s, before being released by George Kerr at
the end of the 88/89 season. Shortly after his departure from York
Street, FBYF editor Richard O Smith caught up with Ward to discuss
his time at the Pilgrims...... MORE
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BOSTON'S
UP!
Well, clearly they're not. They're probably going down.
But this latest thingy has little to do with the current crop of
jokers flailing around pretending to be footballers. Nope, this
is a feature that harks back to the good old days.
Yeah, the good old days. You remember them. Criminals in the dug-out,
Daryl Clare's two-finger salutes, Neil Thompson's multiple resignations.
Being the most hated club in the world - until Leeds United went
pop, that is.
And how, you ask, is this relevant? Well, thanks to the efforts
of an impsTALK reader, and in an act of brazen copyright violation,
impsTALK has made the entire series of Boston’s Up
- a weekly column that appeared in the Guardian during United’s
inaugural season in the Football League - available online for your
pleasure.
The articles come courtesy of the scanning skills of Johnny Chapman,
who writes: “I've
had the scanner out this afternoon for something else,”
teasing us into wondering what the ‘something else’
actually is.
“But I also scanned all the columns from that Boston's
Up series the Guardian did during our first season in the League,”
he continues, making it sound like it was all a complete accident.
Well,
that’s fine by us. Johnny’s files needed a home, and
we’re only too happy to oblige. At least, until the lentil-crunching
lawyers come a-knockin’.
Be
aware, however, that these are actually large image files, not
text. So if you’re using a dial-up connection, you may wish
to-...... ahh, fuck it. Who cares? You’re a second-class
citizen and don’t deserve to see them. You can get high-speed
broadband on your watch these days, you cheapskate plebeians.
Jump
to the archive> |
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From
the archives..... Shrewsbury 5, Boston 0
Pilgrims fans despairing at Boston United's current abject state
need only cast their minds back, ooooh, a couple of years to recall
the last time their team was as crap as it is now. Of course, back
then, the club were under the iron rule of a criminal mentalist
who liked to pretend that all the defeats were the fault of Scott
Dalton and/or the New World Order.... MORE |
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