Boston United' plans to relocate to a new stadium were this week dealt another severe blow when Boston Borough Council said just six inches of land were available in the town for the club.

Newly appointed town planner Viktor Bobskonovski told ImpsTALK that no sites have been earmarked for a new stadium in the council's 'Blueprint For A Better Boston'.

‘Football - no!’ Bobskonovski blasted. ‘We have big plans for our new multi-hundred pound dock horse-cart link. We also want to complete a new bus-stop project on London Road. This will take many months. New United stadium? Well, more chance of Britney at the Gliderdrome I think!’

The council's plans also include major road investment - five new traffic cones, a new light bulb in a traffic light on Haven Bridge and a new kerb in Wyberton.

Out of town developments include Phase Four of the dabsi Stadium - the total demolition of the project - and a huge single story heroin storage centre in Kirton.

No sign of a Boston United site.

Indeed, the council admitted just six square inches of land were left over for Boston United, a small patch of land inside adjacent to Oldrids Downtown.

United GM John Blackwell reacted furiously to the news, branding Boston a ‘disgrace to the area just west of the Wash’.

‘It’s a cock-up job,’ Blackwell said. ‘Here we are spending money on a running track for people who can't actually run, yet we desperately need a bigger football ground in Boston. As you well know, we're always locking people out of the ground. We can't physically fit them into York Street.’

‘At least, that's what I tell the guys at Chantry House,’ Blackwell added.