2005/2006
Review |
2005/2006
Review
First things first: How bad was League Two this year? How unspeakably
dreadful was the quality of the football? Rarely have I been so
thoroughly bored on a consistent basis....MORE>> |
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2005/2006
News |
impsTALK
launches new bootleg commentary delivery service
Tapes you'd never dream of buying now on sale ..
>>MORE |
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BLEEP!
BOSTON
United boss Steve Evans has revealed to impsTALK that he was
‘within touching’ distance of completing Saturday’s
Times crossword on board the Boston United team coach following
his ejection from Blundell Park....>>MORE |
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THE
END LOOMS
Martial law has been declared on the streets of downtown
Boston following Jon Sotnick’s panic stricken proclamation
of imminent destruction was accidentally broadcast over BBC Radio
Lincolnshire today...>>MORE |
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Evans
not resigning over hoofgate scandal
Play-off chasing Boston United’s™ record-breaking
legend™ Steve Evans is under growing pressure to resign
his position tonight over the release of several dangerous hoof-ball
offenders, many of whom have committed further crimes against
football since their release from York Street....>>MORE |
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DJ
Sotnixx Outlines Stadium Transport Plan
Sinister
media slut Jon Sotnick today outlined his ambitious plans to ferry
fans to Boston United’s new multi-million Sotnick Mega-Dome
near Lincoln....>>MORE
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Pilgrims’
Ticket Office Sick of Ticket Queries
John
Blackwell has today revealed to Singleton NewsCorp (Inc) that
he is 'sick to the back teeth' of people ringing the Boston United
ticket office to ask about tickets....>>MORE |
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What's
the mat-ter Jon?
Sinister
Lavaflow chairman Jon Sotnick is today busily scouring pubs across
the West Midlands for a series of missing beer mats following
the startling revelation from Boston Borough Council that the
relocation business plan submitted to them was incomplete...>>MORE |
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Gaffer
and Government still 'best buddies' claims sinister frontman
Boston
United gaffer and all-round good egg Steve Evans has denied falling
out with 'good friend' Bob Gufftrucker at HM Customs and Revenue
over alleged gambling debts in excess of £1.5 million...>>MORE |
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Fans'
Forum announced
Sunday
announcement very unsubtle attempt at diverting attention from
continual failure of Evans' football team...>>MORE |
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Evans
blames self for Chester horrorshow
Blaming himself for Wednesday
night’s shambolic display against Chester City, Steve Evans
has shipped himself out on loan to Chester City on an emergency
short term deal, impsTALK can exclusively reveal in today’s
exclusive Friday slow news day update...>>MORE
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RAF
to deliver tonight's matchball
Ever
anxious to boost falling attendances, Boston United officials
have announced that the matchball for tonight’s clash with
Chester City at York Street will be delivered by the RAF five
minutes before kick off...>>MORE |
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Evans
trials revolutionary new media team-talk
Boston
United’s highly-rated gaffer Steve Evans’ new team-talk
system ended in catastrophe yesterday after a 5-0 mauling at the
hands of promotion-chasing Mansfield Town...>>MORE |
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Horror
Discovery at Posh:
Mark Wright is android controlled by Fry
Cambridgeshire
police have issued a warrant for the arrest of Peterborough United
Football Director Barry Fry...>>MORE |
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York
Street pitch 'obliterated by UFO' claims terrified Blackwell
An
alien family from the planet Guthnark are in hiding somewhere
in Friskney tonight after their mothership caused ‘untold
damage’ to Boston United’s York Street pitch over
the weekend, claimed the Pilgrims today...>>MORE |
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New
world discovered in North Sea: Evansland
British
scientists were stunned this morning when satellite photos revealed
a new landmass forming in the North Sea off the coast of Skegness.
The anomaly appears to be in the same area that Boston United
director Colin Woodcock dumped the server containing the club’s
official website at the suggestion of a fan, leading many observers
to speculate that the huge amount of organic waste contained on
the server is responsible...>>MORE |
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Northampton
Town planning completely unnecessary stadium expansion, restaurants,
bigger shop
Jon
Sotnick was awoken from his pre-season slumber today after he
caught wind of Northampton Town’s decidedly ambitious plan
to double their capacity of the Sixfields Stadium to accommodate
15,000 fans...>>MORE |
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2005/2006
Features |
Boston
United Television!
It's a football revolution.
Boston
United TV 2!
BUTC returns for another day of action-packed scheduling.
Lavaflow Records
| Lavaflow
Films
Lavaflow's entertainment arm. Entertaining us.
Pac-Nik
Play the brand new software release from Mugfretsoft. Can you
eat all the letters of objection to the new stadium and build
your gleaming palace on Boardsides?
Steve Evans' MySpace page
MySpace is no longer cool. Perfect timing Steve.
Chants
Boston fans don't sing. And when they do, you wish they
hadn't bothered.
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