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SOLD! TO THE MAN IN THE GREEN SUIT!

Residents living around Boston United's crumbling stadium reacted with mild apathy today after they discovered that club officials, desperate to increase cash-flow, sold the STREET name to their major sponsors.

The Pilgrims recently announced that they had sold the rights to York Street to Staffsmart in a deal which would see the ground renamed the Staffsmart Arena™ next season. However, it has now emerged that Boston United went a step further and sold the rights to the entire street, meaning York Street will now be known as Staffsmart Street.

One important Boston fan, Bob Mugfret-Fishhead, moved to York Street in 1986 so he could beat the mad crush on match days and charge away fans £60 to park in his driveway. Mr Mugfret-Fishhead received the new edition of Bookcase Monthly this morning, and was astonished to see it addressed to 81b Staffsmart Street.

"I was shocked,” the important Pilgrims supporter said. “They even had the logo on the address, and Micky Chinn’s mugshot on the first class stamp.”

A Royal Mail spokesman told impsTALK they had re-designated the street name and had even given it a new postcode: SSR GR8.

New name for local residents

Sinister Lavaflow CEO Jon Sotnick spoke about the deal to sell the York Street name on the official club website.

“After one so-called resident wrote to the council pointing out the enormous pot-holes in the tarmac surface, we almost lost our major sponsor,” he said.

“But now I’ve unnecessarily reminded everyone of that, let me now say I don’t want to talk about it to remind everyone how angry I still am about it, and thank Staffsmart for their continuing efforts to prop up a rapidly disintegrating road in serious need of repair.”


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