impsTALK.co.uk | 2007/2008 - How was it for you..... Ken Fox?

Boston United web expert and squirrel botherer Dr Ken Fox is a clever man. But he was still willing to stoop to impsTALK's intellectual level to answer a few of our mental end of season questions…..

Moment when it first truly hit home that ex-Football League giants Boston United were having to slum it with part-time tinpot pub teams
It was when I noticed at one match at York Street that the stewards in the Town End outnumbered the away support.

Club where you had to check your normal hilarious banter about rat/dog burgers upon the sudden and somewhat horrific realisation that the burger was indeed a rat/dog patty
I've never eaten anything at a football match. Who eats between 3 and 5 o'clock on a Saturday afternoon?!

Club with toilets so unutterably dreadful you'd rather let your bladder swell up and pop in a grotesque explosion of urine rather than enter and risk contracting cholera even though a split bladder is actually a very serious medical ailment in its own right
I have a big strong Lincolnshire bladder so I've never needed to use the toilets at a match! The ones at Burscough looked tempting though. It looked possible to peer over the top of the breeze blocks and watch the match while having a piss.

Dr Ken Fox pictured before yesterday's win over Hyde Utd

Away support at York Street that most closely resembled the abject, piteous air of a group of captured Polish POWs in World War 2 awaiting their imminent execution next to the trench they've just dug in a muddy field two miles north of Gdynia
Leigh RMI

Tommy Fackin’ Taylor’s Fackin’ Quote of the Fackin’ Season
"I've got an outstanding team here and if they don't get in the playoffs they need shooting" - after the 5-1 win against Vauxhall Motors.

Biggest pothole encountered (pitch or carpark)
That would be in the corner at Harrogate. Talk about a sloping pitch! There was a pit in the corner into which players and the ball would disappear for minutes at a time.

Your nomination for the 07/08 Andy Butler 'It Can't Get Much Worse Than This, We Should Be Tonking These Two Bob Village Outfits' result of the season
The two defeats to the ultimate two bob village outfit of Burscough.

Your 07/08 player of the season written in a code only you understand
Well it's got to be a player called Jon, but that doesn't narrow it down much!

Best service station
Use public transport, it's better for the environment and if you're lucky you bump into Jon Stevenson heading home to Leicester on the train.

Leaving aside for the moment UK law concerning deliberate acts of violence culminating in the death of another person, who, in your blood-crazed fantasies, would you skewer with a ricin-tipped umbrella at a bus-stop if United go belly-up in the summer
I made a joke about this in a match report last year only to get an abusive phone call from a very irate Scotsman.

More end of season bobbins....
Duncan Brown
Adam Upsall
2007/2008 - how was it for you?

Have you got a favourite/worst moment of the season? E-mail us your suggestions to editorial@impsTALK.co.uk and we'll publish the best ones. If we get any.