| FA
FINE RIDDLE SOLVED - EXCLUSIVE! |
Boston
United's sudden 'sorting out' of the long-standing FA
fine has baffled a number of fans. How DID David Newton
suddenly clear that huge outstanding fine?
Well, now impsTALK can exclusively reveal the not-particularly
SENSATIONAL truth behind the REAL story of what ACTUALLY
truthfully REALLY happened, with this leaked document
(click image to enlarge).... |
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THE
OFFICIAL impsTALK
CHAMPIONSHIP MANAGER APPLICATION PACK – COMEDY
GOLD ASSURED, OR YOUR MONEY BACK!*
So,
Boston United are, finally, searching for a new gaffer.
By telling Tommy fackin' Taylor to sling 'is fackin'
'ook back daaahhhhn saaaarf, they joined that long-list
of 99.9999% of the world's football clubs that have
fired a manager in the past 18 months. |

Oh the hilarity: You're hired! |
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Most
fans are all too painfully aware of the period of uncertainty
sackings inevitably bring. So many questions. How will the
players respond to a caretaker manager? Are there any funds
available for the new man to bring in his own staff? And worst
of all - will Graeme Souness apply?
Football fans are self-pitying whiners at the best of times,
and such periods inevitably lead to either a false dawn -
when Colin Calderwood turns out to be nothing like
Brian Clough - or a sense of overwhelming desolation when
Graeme Souness is indeed rejected, only for Bryan Robson to
be appointed instead.
But
spare a thought for the fox-murdering, cigar-smoking, brandy-swilling,
Jag-driving, steel-flogging Tories in the boardroom. For
football chairmen, the worst thing about sacking a hopeless
manager isn’t paying off an incompetent goon with
cash that would otherwise have been diverted into a Cayman
Island ‘holding’ bank account. That’s
the easy bit.
By
far the most undesirable consequence of embarking on yet
another quest for yet another incompetent goon is the unavoidable
task of wading through literally dozens of comedy job applications
from comedy fans enclosing comedy CVs detailing their fictional,
and frequently comical, achievements on Championship/Football
Manager.
Of
course, in many cases the comedy of such applications merely
masks a sincere belief on the part of the applicant that
they actually could manage a football team. After all, being
a football manager must be a bit like being the drummer
in Glasvegas: irrespective of ability or experience, everyone
knows that they could do a better job than you.
And in the case of drumming for Glasvegas, they’re
absolutely correct.
Here at impsTALK, one of south Lincolnshire’s least-visited
websites, we believe it is the God-given right of every
football fan to submit at least one hilarious and side-splittingly
comical Championship Manager application during their otherwise
miserable lives.
After
all, if you can’t make your chairmen’s life
a misery by posting details of his house on the internet
or by rumbling his plan to torch the Main Stand in an elaborate
insurance scam, then you might as well waste some of his
time. So, with that in mind, we are delighted to present
your complete comedy application pack!
Simply
download the attached covering letter and CV, fill in the
blanks, and send to your favourite club. It really could
not be easier! LOL! LOL!! LOLLLOLOLOLOL!!!! ROFFFLOLOLOL!!!!!
Covering
Letter download [PDF]
Comedy CV download [PDF]
*
- no money back
Other
helpful impsTALK fan packs!
The
Official impsTALK Fan Protest Pack |