Surprisingly, when arriving at such an early time, Conference grounds seem to take on a very different appearance. At Barnet last season for Boston's evening fixture Underhill was cast in total darkness as we arrived and felt our way through the turnstiles, and even by 7.20 pm the floodlights still remained as turned off as a woman I had just made a pass at. Eventually though, just as the teams were running out onto the 1 in 2 gradient pitch the floodlights finally switched on.

While on the subject of casting light on the proceedings at Barnet, who does their chairman Stan Flashman think he is in banning reporters from the ground for (wait for it) writing critical match reports about the club? And when supporters dared to point out that he had dismantled the Barnet side by selling most of the collective talent for an accumulative total very near to half a million pounds, only to be replaced by some seasoned old pros (namely ex-Watford's George Reilly) all bought with a total outlay not rising much above £20,000 - the reward for this concern with the club that they support was a letter stating their presence was no longer welcome, with the usual scant regard for their own supporters that clubs continually employ.

Re-addressing the subject of climbing steep gradients, as anyone who has ever chased a long through ball at Barnet will no doubt recollect the similarity, walking from the Dartford station to Maidstone's ground provides a similar mountain to climb. Once this had been overcome and we had taken care to arrive exceptionally early again after lugging bundles of fanzines up the Dartford hill.

Before the kick-off Dartford's Watling Street ground (which is 20 mi 1es from Maidstone) was totally empty (similar to Fisher's ground at ten past three when you still have to walk fifty yards to get a light).
Suddenly, now very near to kick-off time, streams of brightly painted yellow double-deckers arrived and offloaded hundreds of Maidstone fans who had all, for the time being at least, been prepared to make the exceptionally long journey on the club commissioned buses from Maidstone to Dartford (which is 20 miles away).

Without a doubt this is the only gesture of consideration Maidstone have so far offered to their supporters over the move to Dartford (which is 20 miles away). After all, with Dartford's (which is.......) ground totally devoid of spectators until the streams of cars displaying MUFC stickers, along with the coaches, arrive, this merely goes to embolden the point that the Stones (that's the Maidstone nickname, not Jagger & Richards who also happen to come from Dartford) they have not surprisingly so far been unable to attract any adopted support from their new town of residence.

Some papers actually reported as a fait accomplis that the Maidstone United squatters would be ground sharing with Kent neighbours Gi1lingham at the Tatter's Priestfield home, but presumably Gillingham must have waited until Maidstone had all gone out and then forced entrance by breaking back in and changed the locks. Following this, a story was then leaked to the press that Maidstone would be playing at Gravesend.

Rumours abound that they were in. actual fact offered a straight choice between Gravesend or Dartford, and opted for the Tatter; this is understandable as when I visited Gravesend for Boston's only ever visit there in the formative year of the Conference, the ground was three miles out of town, and actually located at Norfleet. However Norfleet is one giant cement factory which is responsible for exporting more cement, and acid rain, than anywhere else in the country - fans frequently experiencing large chunks of their hair falling out on the bus back after the game.

And so Dartford became the Stones' choice, in spite of the deep-seated belief amongst all football supporters that ground sharing simply does not work. Obviously there is no way that the league should permit Maidstone entrance, purely because they possess no ground. After all, a ground is the centre stage, focal point and communal centre of a club's character, the place where history was, and continues, to be made.

Both Bristol Rovers and Charlton were forced to ground-share simply because their landlords evicted them. There was no such case with Maidstone who packed their suitcases and left London Road of their own accord. With the vast bankable sums which came from the sale of the ground to MFI, they were able to compile a first rate team and could al so afford to pay very competitive wages.

Any club can do this, but the vast majority do not as they consider sacrificing their home for success on the field an immoral way to behaviour towards their supporters. Not for the first time, those who lost the most from the deal of selling the whole London Road site for development, were the supporters. They remained neglected, ignored and unconsulted. But of course they are expected to dutifully make the 40 mile round trip to continue supporting a club who no longer represents their town or community.

Just like Palace fans who harbour nothing but intolerance for Charlton, and Bath City supporters informed me of equally uncharitable feelings towards having Rovers churn up their pitch and encroach upon their crowds when I last visited Twerton Park to see Boston's visit, Dartford can find nothing but disadvantages for their bedfellows, apart from, that is, the reported £25,000 Maidstone pay for the privilege of inconveniencing their own supporters (on top of the extra tea bar and social club revenue Dartford can recoup).

Although there is still nine years left of the lease to groundshare at Watling Street, there has still been much speculation that Maidstone are already looking to move again. Indeed, property owners all over Kent are living in frequent fear of the Maidstone United squatters moving in. Especially in households where both parties have to work and thus leave the house empty during the day; they are only too aware of how this is a prime target for the Maidstone squatters, particularly if the property boasts a large lawn and is on a bus route from Maidstone.

One final note of irony is that Maidstone United's reserve and youth teams still play their matches at London Road, which also serves as the venue for the first team's training sessions. But Maidstone had the cash in hand for recruiting-the championship winning side they got, and notice how the big money signings (Noel Ashford from Barnet £20,000, Mark Golley from Sutton for £15,000, Ken Charlery from Fisher for £35,000) all are bought from fellow Conference clubs; this has a two-fold effect, namely to strengthen the Stones's side as well as to weaken the opposition they in turn face in the league.

Humour is hopefully never too far away from football, and, since there is also suspicion that Dartford themselves will soon be moving from their Watling Street ground, it could be provided by Dartford taking up our suggestion that they move to Maidstone. History has repeatedly shown that there is a dormant market in football support to be tapped in the two towns.

Besides, another example of the current ground sharing set up bordering upon the ridicule was provided by last season's Kent Senior Cup matches, held over two legs, which presented the opportunity for a Dartford v. Maidstone meeting. It was exciting to see who was drawn out of the hat last in the semi-final pairing to gain that all important crucial home ground advantage in the second leg. Last season Dartford had a successful, if ultimately frustrating season, and finished runners-up in the Southern League (missing promotion to the GMVC by one place) and did not exit from the F.A. Trophy until the competition had reached the semi-final stage.

Considering the success that Maidstone were enjoying last season, in what was obviously the most successful season in their history, the attendances that they experienced were abysmal - they just scraped a solitary thousand when Boston visited them at the time when they were making the running in the home stretch towards lifting the championship. But since Kent is soon to become the gateway to Europe by the multitude of channel link expresses, France is promised to become only a mere 30 minutes away. Maybe then Maidstone could groundshare with French lower division outfits Calais or Boulogne-sur-mer.

As the car stickers proclaim: bring the Stones back home to Maidstone. Though talking to a Stones fan as I travelled back from watching our 3-0 humiliation (this is how football supporters behave Mr. Moynihan), he expressed grave reservations about Maidstone's chairman (who is also chairman of the GMVC which was particularly convenient when the Conference last year welcomed the arrival of the dreaded plastic pitches into the league only days after the local press unveiled Maidstone's plan to acquire one).

As he said: "I never trust anyone who has made their money in the building trade." "FBYF" suggests that Dartford change the locks.