GMVC 28/9/88 Boston United 0 Runcorn 6 Attendance: 2,160

By Richard Smith

After Runcorn had helped themselves to number four, with Boston's defence looking like players in musical statues when the music stops, they were not dismayed by our chants of "Boring, Boring Runcorn" and duly sent number five sailing into the Boston net.

Such defensive ineptitude was indescribable; why weren't Mossman and Hamill wide and taking people on? Why were our defenders as fast as landlocked hippos after a hard day? Why was no one covering for Shirtliff when he went forward, and why does Wilson have to play opposing sides all by himself?

As usual Boston only scored once, and that was during the warm-up. Suddenly championship aspirations had been replaced by the envisaged relegation dog fight getting bigger and bigger on the horizon ahead. After McKenna had picked the ball out of the net following the conceding of the fifth (after 57 minutes), he allowed himself a thump on the ground; the man next to me prophetically told his companion "there's nowt way Boston'll get back in it now".

No doubt the rush is on by T.V. companies to sign him up to do the expert analysis for the 1990 World Cup. Filtering out of the ground singing "Georgie, Georgie what's the score?", a downpour started and we duly got soaked. I am sending my train ticket-from London to Boston to George Kerr for a refund - the inconvenience of getting up at 5 a.m. the next morning to go back to work I will cover myself along with the admission.

Astute Pilgrims supporters realized that the real reason for this defeat lay in the fact that next Saturday's F.A Cup 2nd Qualifying Round opponents Mile Oak Rovers had sent spies to the game to watch Boston, and it was a deliberate ploy to make Mile Oak field their reserve team against us in the Cup. Perhaps, instead of hoarding our gate money, some of it can be SPENT on a striking partner for Paul Wilson.

By the way, first division managers, as for our normally excellent goalkeeper John McKenna, who was rated at £100,000 last season by John Hollins (he got the sack from Chelsea the same week), not only did he not just fail to get his finger tips to goal number four, he wasn't even in the 18 yard box at the time. Indeed, the only pleasing news about the game is that Runcorn has obviously read the first issue of "FBYF" and thus were well behaved and, even more amazing than winning away 6-0 at York Street, had nobody booked or sent-off!

Frequently I found myself counting the number of Boston players on the field to see if any had joined the queue in the tea bar.

TAKING OFFENCE TO THE FENCE
The fence at the town end is so view obstructing that when Boston score no one cheers until the goal scorer is announced over the Public Address system. Fortunately, though, there is a gap of about six inches at the bottom before the thick mesh starts; this means that by lying down flat on your stomach, it is actually possible to see the game, but get to York Street early as there is only room for 100 people to do this.

HARD MEN CHELTENHAM TOWN COMPILE A CRACK TEAM
Judging by the current Cheltenham side on view in the recent 1-1 draw with United, it seems that instead of assembling a side for a campaign on the GMVC championship, they are recruiting a team for a bank job.

The next issue will appear around Christmas, by which time frozen pitches & mid-table mediocrity will be upon us.