Liam Parker shirt sponsors 2008/2009
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impsTALK.co.uk >> 2008/09 >> Rough Guide > Ashton United
Club
Details |
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| Send hate mail to: | Ashton
United FC Hurst Cross Surrey Street Ashton-under-Lyne Lancs OL6 8DY |
| Matchday prices: | Adults
- £8.00 Concessions - £5.00 Children under 14 - The little bastards go free when accompanied by an adult |
Who
the hell are Ashdown County? |
|
| Just
six miles from Manchester and Stockport and a mere four miles from
Oldham, it’s fair to say that residents of Ashton-Under-Lyne
have their pick of debt-ridden professional clubs to support. It’s
not hugely surprising to note, then, that the club has spent much
of its 130 year history bumbling aimlessly around provincial no-name
leagues with names like ‘Combination’ and ‘Alliance’
– a bit like The Pilgrims are now. Ashton only managed to make the escape to a proper league - the North West Counties - in the early 1980s. Success followed, depending on what your definition of success actually is, of course. In this instance, we simply mean that the club has spent the last few years slowly scratching and scrambling its way up the pyramid. And yes, you
read that right – the club is 130 years old. Ashton were originally
known as Hurst FC and for those unable or unwilling to do the maths,
that means Hurst FC were founded in 1878. Hurst changed their name
to Ashton a year after the Second World War. That’s 1946 if
you’ve not watched Band of Brothers. To celebrate their 130th
anniversary, Ashton finished tenth in the NPL last season. |
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Claims
to fame
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| Although
it’s easy to forget that Paul Gascoigne was once a highly successful
midfielder, given he’s now a weirdo basket case, as his last
club Boston United will forever be associated with his playing career.
Ashton United played the similar role of retirement home for another legendary figure when they signed Dixie Dean in 1939. Dean saw out his final playing days at the small club before the outbreak of the war finally severed his ties with the muddy pitches of the Manchester regional league – and football – for good. Alan Ball started his career at Ashton in 1959. Sir Geoff Hurst was born in Ashton, but like all self-respecting big-time charlies, headed straight for faaahkin’ Essex at a very early age and so never had anything whatsoever to do with United. Another notable
former resident is Sadie Frost. We’re sorry to report that,
for some unknown reason, she appears not to have a season ticket
for Ashton United. Apologies folks. You’ll just have to hope
the FA send Lisa Rashid to run the line instead (she’s
too good for this pub league – ed). |
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Where do they keep getting caught offside? |
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Ashton play at Hurst Cross. It is, 'they' reckon, one of the oldest football grounds in the world. If the toilets at Burscough are anything to go by, that’s probably a very bad omen indeed. Even Workington managed to give theirs a bit of a scrub to celebrate the D-Day landings. They might not have touched them since, but at least they’re showing willing.
We’re struggling to find out a huge amount of information on the ground, so we’ll just give you the facts up front: 4,500 capacity, two big(ish) stands, nice flags, lopsided shape (birds-eye view weirdly reminiscent of London 2012 logo), did we say we liked the flags?, lovely flags, lot of flags, without flags a football ground is nothing, Deva Stadium – world’s worst football ground - doesn’t have flags: coincidence?, flags are good. |
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How
many away fans will they bring? |
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Nine. |
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The
town |
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| Ashton-Under-Lyne
serves as a satellite town to nearby Manchester so there is a distinct
possibility you may be struck by a few stray bullets, although you’re
far more likely to perish under the wheels of a truck on the M62 –
a road we believe was used for inspiration by the producers of the
Mad Max franchise. |
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| As with all our reports, we’re culling most of the facts about these nondescript provincial hellholes and hamlets from Wikipedia, and as if to serve as a salutary warning as to why letting the dunderhead masses muck about with knowledge is a bad idea, Ashton’s entry proudly boasts: “Notable is Ashton Moss Transmitter, one of the few European AM transmitting aerials to use free-standing tower radiators.” |  |
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None
of which is Ashton’s fault, really, so let’s see how
else we can insult it. Ah yes. Corrie. The town appears to have
supplied Coronation Street in tinpot actors for generations. Jack
Duckworth hailed from Ashton, so did Alma Baldwin. Martin Platt
not only came from Ashton, he tried to top himself there as well.
Such is the circle of life, eh? |
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Links |
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| Official
site Forum Ashton United unofficial |
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Anything
to add? |
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| Tell us more about Ashton, recommend a pub or try and obtain our bank details by E-MAILING us. | |
