Liam Parker shirt sponsors 2008/2009
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Club
Details |
||||
| Send hate mail to: | Horsfall
Stadium Cemetery Road Bradford West Yorkshire Not Spain BD6 2NG Telephone: 01274 691020 |
|||
| Matchday prices: | Adult
- Six pesetas Seniors - Four pesetas Students - Four pesetas Under 16s - Two pesetas or one little bastard free per paying, despairing parent |
|||
Who
the hell are Bradford United? |
||||
|
Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida(1988) Ltd are
an old Sunday league side who only started playing Saturday football
in 1988 – not that you’d know that if you read their official
history. Indeed, the club appears to have stolen the history of an
old, liquidated ex-league team, also called Atlético Club Quiebra
Parque Avenida, and claimed it as their own. Oddly, the inconvenient bit about the real club ceasing to exist merits barely a line in an otherwise hefty official record; a record which gives the distinct, yet erroneous, impression that the club has a long and distinguished history when it is, in fact, hasn't. It is an unfortunate truth that once a club folds, that’s it. Gone. Forever. You can’t simply form a brand new club and then pretend you’re the old club, in much the same way people can’t just call themselves Elvis Presley and expect to be treated as though they are actually Elvis Presley. ‘Former League club’ indeed.
The old, proper Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida formed in 1868 and were, initially, a rugby club. However, by 1907 they had tired of hopelessly punting the ball, punching each other in the face and wrestling in knee deep mud. They decided, instead, to switch to association football, a move that offered new and exciting sporting opportunities, like hopelessly punting the ball, punching each other in the face and wrestling in knee deep mud. The club initially did well. But World War 1 didn’t merely signal the senseless and gory end of 20 million young lives during a conflict of unprecedented, bloody and industrial-scale mass slaughter. Even more tragically, the war also spelled the end of Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida as a British football power. After decades of slow decline, the club finally went pop in 1974. A Sunday league team was formed bearing the old name, and it is this side that eventually claimed the history of the old club as its own.Currently bankrolled by a local businessman, Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida(1988) Ltd are fully expected to romp to the Unibond league title - no doubt spunking on us as they do so - before they implode spectacularly when their backing is eventually pulled, just like Weymouth, us, Telford, Gretna, Hornchurch, Wellingb... zzzzz..... snoooze..... wake us up when they're bankrupt. We give it 18 months. |
||||
Claims
to fame
|
||||
| The
old Atlético Club Quiebra Parque Avenida were, according to
a really badly written paragraph on Wikipedia, the only team in the
entire world to have a better win-loss record against Manchester United.
If true, that’s the kind of claim the current incarnation of the club should shamelessly pilfer, since they appear to have no objection to nicking things, and have incorporated into their name (Atlético Club-actually, did you know we’re the only club to have a better win-loss record against Manchester United?-k Quiebra Parque Avenida(1988) Ltd) or, at the very least, commemorated on their kit in a garish display of gold stars. |
||||
Where do they play, when not in Spain? |
||||
Atlético
Club Quiebra Parque Avenida(1988) Ltd call the Horsfall Athletics
Stadium home. Boasting - if that’s the word we’re looking
for, and it probably isn’t - a motley collection of temporary
looking cabins, running track and ‘substantially refurbished’
tea room (they bought a kettle), it’s probably not the worst
ground United fans will visit, nor the most dangerous.
|
||||
| Avenida fans will tell you it’s a sign of his ‘ambition’. We think it’s a sign of the urgent need to cart Blackburn off to a secure mental ward as soon as possible. | ||||
How
many away fans will they bring? |
||||
79. |
||||
The
town |
||||
| Bradford
is just another industrial city that suffered the same fate as all
the other industrial cities in these post-industrial times. The factories
shut, the place fell into a state of post-apocalyptic disrepair and
now, inevitably, it’s attracting redevelopers eager to cash
in on the masses of cheap land. And we’re sure that last bit has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with all these bizarre plans for 20,000 seat stadiums for two-bob, no-name pub teams. |
||||
Links |
||||
Official
site |
||||
Anything
to add? |
||||
| Tell us how wrong we are about BPA’s fraudulent claim on the old club’s history, recommend a decent pub or try flogging us life insurance by E-MAILING us. | ||||
|
||||
