Having lost the game of rock, paper, scissors that determined who would have first dabs on the buffet and the free car parking spot in the York Street car park, Neil Kempster resigned himself to merely ‘vice-chairman’ status.

Neil now sits outside David’s plush office keeping Big Boss supplied with decaffeinated Nescafe and warm toast with the burnt bits scraped off. Neil’s other duties include mowing the pitch, greasing the turnstiles, scaling the floodlights and fanning David when the York Street air conditioning breaks down (which is really a euphemism for the power being cut by bailiffs).