One last picture From Adam H:


...and with that, impsTALK is signing off. It's been another depressing evening. Why didn't I think of doing this four years ago, eh? Thanks for your e-mails and pictures......Pete

Oo-er - Macclesfield are beating - yes, I said beating - Rochdale. Well that just rubs it in. They are poised to cut the gap from ten points to a mere seven.

FINAL WHISTLE - Peep peeep peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep A crushing, inevitable defeat tops off the worst ever week in the history of Boston United, which itself topped off the worst ever month, in the worst ever year. And it might not even be over yet. Dalton is off to find out if Crazee Jimmy is sticking around or fecking off to Gambia with the rest of the Lavaflow lot.

90 mins - Three minutes of added time. "Can Boston take anything positive from this evening?" Scott Numpty asks Chris Cook. Cook: "No."

88 mins - GOAL! Consolation for Boston! N'Guessan taps in a close range effort after a Ellender header lands at his feet. Wow.

86 mins - "Use this to shut old tipsy up," says socalled. "Link for famous folk in Chester."

83 mins - CHANCE! For a consolation. Danby pulls off a super save from a Paul Ellender header. "Russ abbott?" says Tips, referring to the links at the bottom of the page. "Fair enough but what about Beth Tweddle and 007? Both from Chester!" I didn't fall for the Hollyoaks link, so I'm not falling for them!

81 mins - Sub Richie Ryan has made way for Cape Canoville. Maylett never actually did come on.....

80 mins - BOSTON TOWN UPDATE From socalled: "Its 3-2 now....... <<bites fingernails>>"

76 mins - Gee Evans is at tonight's game Good to see the chief scout justifying his wages (assuming he's been paid) by scouring the leagues for any bargains the Pilgrims might be able to snaff- ah, fuck it, we'll not even be around for the transfer window anyway, I can't be bothered to whinge. Get yourself another cup of tea, a Yorkie and make yourself comfortable Gee!

75 mins - "It was DIY honestly," says Tips.


72 mins - GOAL! That's that then. John Walters nogs another long range effort from about 25 yards out, it bounces in front of Marriot.... and over him into the net.

67 mins - GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boston Town go 3-1 up, Bully the scorer.

65 mins - GOAL! Chester 2, Boston 0 It goes from bad to worse for Boston after Miller concedes a penalty. Greg Blundell steps up and slots it easily past Marriott, who he sends the wrong way. Difficult to see a way back for Boston now.

61 mins - Elding has the ball in the net, through a header no less, but the flag was already up. "My spy tells me it was Bully and Rowan who scored for t'other team," says socalledutdfan, who admits: "I am sure its got to be more enjoyable then this shower from Utd."

62 mins - Brad Maylett set to come on for Boston....

55 mins - Clarke squanders a decent opportunity to place Dandy under immediate pressure, his free kick drifts past his far post. Curses. Chester had done nothing to suggest that they might suddenly pull that out the hat. After a decent enough first half, have the Pilgrims got enough in the tank to launch another comeback?

50 mins - GOAL! Chester take the lead after a long range shot by Greg Blundell evades Marriott and flies into the top corner. From absolutely nothing, that!

Kick off And we're underway. Again.

Shameless plug From Adam Hildred, who confirms the below picture was put together by his brother. "The Squash Site," he chirps. "World class sport at Boston! Free! At a non-corrupt, not in massive debt association! It's like the opposite of the football club!" One guess who wrote that article. The invoice is in the post Mr Hildred.

T'other team Latest score from Tattershall Road - Boston Town 2, Blackstone 1

Half-time - The referee mecifully blows his whistle to bring the first half to an end. When you hear supporters murmering darkly about 'wet midweek hackfests' this is precisely the type of game they are referring to. More happened on the surface of the Moon during that first period.

Whining aside, this is the kind of game us supporters must endure from a struggling team trying to pick up points away from home, so from that point of view, I reluctantly command through gritted teeth: more of the same please Boston. God save us.

45 mins - 1 minute time allowed.

42 mins - Artwork arrives From Patrick Hildred, presumably related to Adam Hildred in some capacity. "Here is my prediction for the match," he says:


36 mins - Attendance 1527 fans in attendance. A brave 42 from Lincolnshire, about double Cookie's original estimate.

32 mins - .......but ends up in the arms of Marriot. He pumps it forward to Elding who holds it up looking to plant the ball onto N'Guessan's head but the ball again ends up with Danby.

32 mins - Chance! Walters' snap shot on the turn is deflected off for a Chester corner after a neat passing move. I added the exclamation mark to give those not listening to the broadcast the impression this is a pulsating, end to end thriller. Another corner to Chester....

23 mins - What's this? Mark Greaves? One on one with the keeper? Surely not? It's true - but sadly the chance goes begging after Danby intercepts. First real chance of the game, mind.

20 mins - I should be watching the telly No sooner has Robbie Fowler put Liverpool one up against Galatasaray in the Champions League than some bloke called Ates runs down the pitch to equalise.

18 mins - Another Boston corner, their third, after a decent cross by Jamie Clarke. The corner results in a foul, and the ball is back with Chester. However, Boston have started brightly.

16 mins - N'Guessan spanks a long range effort from about 25 yards out. And it's not far wide. The ball ends up at the other end with Greg Blundell, who is muscled off the ball after seemingly being put clean through.

12 mins - Not a great deal is happening. Jermaine Easter, that prolific striker that Steve Evans deemed unsuitable for a permanent deal, has already scored for Wycombe this evening.

7 mins - Green forces a corner for Boston. Taken by Clarke: it's rubbish, and ends up back with the United back four. About 25 visiting fans have made the trip.

5 mins - Mark Greaves has the first effort of the evening, a wild blast that draws ironic grunts from the windblown home supporters.

Kick-off - It's a little blustery at the Deva and Chester immediately force a corner. The ball is hooked clear and it doesn't touch the floor again for a full thirty seconds.

Two minutes to kick-off - ...and the teams are out on the pitch.

4-3-3/4-5-1 - Never one to imitate better managers than himself, Steve Evans is persisting with that Chelsea/Mourinho-esque system from last season, playing N'Guesssion in the Didier Drogba role. Splutter.

Teams - Just one change for Boston. Broughton drops out to be replaced by N'Guessionaion, or whatever the hell his name is. No substitute keeper for the Pilgrims.

Chester: Danby, Marples, Westwood, Artell, Vaughan, Hand, Martinez, Wilson, Sandwith, Walters, Blundell Subs: Linwood, Semple, Bolland, Hessey, Bennett

Boston: Marriott, Clarke, Ellender, Miller, Ryan, Kennedy, Greaves, Ryna, N'Guesssssion, Green Elding Subs: Canoville, Maylett, Rowson, Farrell, Stevens

Support for the Pilgrims? The BBC radio crew seem to think that should Boston call upon fellow fans to help them through their crisis there would be a queue of supporters willing to lie rivalry aside to help keep them alive. Really? I'm not so sure. Unlike poor old Chesterfield, Wrexham, Lincoln etc etc etc, other fans really do DESPISE Boston, and Steve Evans in particular. Rarely has the phrase 'painted yourself into a corner' been more pertinent..

Preamble
'A Black Day' - It seems that barely a week goes by these days without Boston United suffering from some kind of humiliating, public catastrophe. If it's not cheating, defrauding or letting Bob Davidson take to the pitch, it's liquidation - which, apparently, isn't just staring the Pilgrims in the face, it's tucking into their face with a pitchfork and a rusty butter knife.

Still, amidst the wreckage of yet another Lavaflow circus act there is, believe it or not, a game of football due to be played. Boston have made the long trip up to Chester desperate to build on the mini-run of form that they've put together since that appalling display against Bournemouth in the FA Cup.

Drewe Broughton, much ridiculed by impsTALK, has actually been playing quite well, but must sit this one out since he belongs to Chester, which is a blow. Cape Canoville might take some part in tonight's proceedings though, and boy have we missed the sight of him battering footballs over the Town End. The awful Deva Stadium, with its low roof, is ripe for a bit of practice for the lad. Don't want to overdo it on your first game back, eh Cape?

Chester's preview, regrettably falling for the old Pilgrimage metaphor once again, reports that Greg Blundell, who has five goals to his name, is available for selection, but that Lee Steele, who bagged two against Bury in the FA Cup, is suspended. Thank God.

Don't forget to send your texts to Radio Lincolnshire: 07786 201949 and e-mail impsTALK at: editorial@impsTALK.co.uk

Past History
Boston have shared two seasons in the Football League with Chester, and two in the Conference. Last season, Boston and Chester traded blows, each winning the away game, which is exactly what they did during the 2001/2002 Conference campaign. Here's the Head-to-Head record from Soccerbase. For those too lazy to click that link, you could just read on:

2005/2006
Boston 1 - 3 Chester
Chester 0 - 1 Boston

2004/2005
Chester 2 - 1 Boston
Boston 3 - 1 Chester

2001/2002
Boston 0-1 Chester
Chester 1-2 Boston

2000/2001
Chester 2-2 Boston
Boston 0-0 Chester

So, three wins and two draws apiece. History tells us that the sides have met twice in the FA Cup, with Chester winning both. First was a 3-2 defeat at the old Sealand Road in 1958 in the First Round proper, then the game we all remember: that narrow defeat in 1996/1997 in the second round that we all still blame Greg Fee for. Well, you would, wouldn't you? I mean, have you ever seen a penalty as bad as that?

Chester
Worst ground in the Football League? You betcha. The Deva Stadium is a truly atrocious flat-pack stadium. It's so dull it makes Sixfields look like the Bombonera.

Evidence? You want evidence?


That said, however, the city itself is an attractive, charming little place. Think Lincoln without the hill. It's such a shame, then, that visiting fans glancing out of the window of their coach might well be forgiven for thinking they were headed towards a tough away tie against Pripyat United, only for that fear to be well and truly substantiated upon arrival at the 'stadium'.

Trivia nicked from Wikipedia: "Cestrians are often perceived (partly-jokingly) of being 'anti-Welsh' although many have Welsh ancestors. This is exemplified by the fact that the Town Hall clock does not face west, towards Wales, and an archaic law which states any Cestrian may shoot a Welshman with a longbow if he loiters within the walls after sunset when the curfew bell chimes (although this law no-longer offers legal protection against prosecution for murder)."

Related links
Russ Abbot
Chester Zoo

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