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2008/2009
Club Info
Features
IMPScast

 
Minute-by-minute reports

WHY would you ever actually attend a Boston United game when you could enjoy the experience of supporting the nation's most unpopular football team from the comfort of your...er.... office chair?

Yes, introducing the impsTALK Minute by Minute commentary service, a service so good people actually at the game tune in on their mobile phones to read the inane ramblings of a bloke listening to radio commentary of a game that's actually happening yards in front of them. Don DeLillo would love that

March 2008

VW Motors 1, Boston 0
The lowest point of the season arrives before at least three fans as Tommy Taylor's bunch of losers somehow manage to lose the reverse fixture against one of the worst teams to visit York Street in living memory.

Barrow 1, Boston 0
Big Bad Barrow dish out another Cumbrian beating.

 
February 2008
Boston 2, Telford 1
The Pilgrims keep their slim play-off hopes alive with a surprisingly decent win over the full-time big-time charlies.

Blyth 2, Boston 1
The life support machine is switched off on Boston's promotion 'dream'. Gah.
 
November 2007
Stalybridge 3, Boston 0
Boston's stuttering season goes from bad to a little bit badder thanks to this gruesome debacle.

Gateshead 2, Boston 1
....and then it somehow manages to get even worse as United flop out of the Trophy at the hands of the 'Heed.
 
October 2007
Kettering 2, Boston 0
Live! Exclusive! Setanta! Tony Crane topless!
 
August 2007
Harrogate 3, Boston 2
Boston get a rude awakening in their first away trip in the Conference North.

Telford 1, Boston 1
Boston hold hot favourites Telford. Yay etc.
 
March 2007

Wycombe 0, Boston 0
What do Jim 'wooden' Rosenthal, Alan 'all I do is moan instead of commentate' Green and Jennifer 'how in living feck did I get Jam and Jerusalem commissioned?' Saunders have in common? They were all present at Boston's gutsy away draw at Adams Park, that's what! This was impsTALK's last minute-by-minute of the 06/07 season.

Boston 2, Bristol Rovers 1
What do you mean these reports are cursed?

 
February 2007

Darlington 2, Boston 0
It's Miller Time! Ouch. Sorry. Went for the obvious one there.

Boston 0, Grimsby 6
A new low. But forget the football, why not enjoy holiday photos from Australia and Las Vegas, courtesy of Adam Upsall?

 
January 2007

Walsall 1, Boston 1
"It was also only the fourth time that opposition had scored at the ground in 15 attempts!" spincranked the Official Site, leaking fluids at an alarming rate after this thoroughly decent draw at the leaders. It was, of course, an own goal.

Boston 1, Swindon 3
Were it not for the victory over Stockport months ago, I'd be tempted to believe that these reports were cursed. As it stands: P8, W1, L7. Not counting the Southwark one, since with that defeat or victory was a purely subjective notion.

 
December 2006
Rochdale 4, Boston 0
Boston United's striking players presumably set up their picket on the halfway line at Spotland if this shambolic performance is anythin- oi, Broughton, what you doing in the opposition penalty area? Scab!

Chester 3, Boston 1
A crushing, inevitable defeat topped off the worst ever week in the history of Boston United, which itself topped off the worst ever month, in the worst ever year.
 
November 2006

Bournemouth 4, Boston 0
Boston United crash ingloriously out of the FA Cup wearing, most probably, the worst ever kit in recorded history.

Southwark Crown Court
impsTALK took the day off work and sat around on its fat lazy arse awaiting the sentencing of Evans and Malkinson, only to be distracted by a terrific aqua-marine news hack subplot.....

 
September 2006

Boston 0, Rochdale 3
Let's not ever talk of this game again.

Boston 2, Stockport 1
A win! A win!

 
August 2006

Brighton 1, Boston 0
An evening memorable not for the football, but for the discovery that Boston United fans are actually quite shit at art.

Grimsby 3, Boston 2
Sexy football proves about as effective as Evans' normal brand of pug ugly football as United squander a two goal lead.