impsTALK.co.uk > Rough Guides > Opposition > Guiseley
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the hell are Guiseley City?
a number of years floating between various Yorkshire League divisions
in the 1960s, Guiseley finally off in the early 1980s when they became
founder members of the Northern Counties East League.
Success wasn’t far behind, as the club picked up their first
FA Vase victory in 1991, winning a replay after an astounding 4-4
draw with Gresley Rovers (whatever happened to them?) at the old Wembley
stadium. That season also saw Guiseley win promotion up the pyramid,
winning the NCEL and claiming promotion to the NPL Divison One, a
division they would win in 1994.
the NPL Premier meant, of course, they would face Boston United,
and the Pilgrims can’t have enjoyed their trips to Nethermoor
Park much, since they seemed to come a cropper every single time
they visited. Boston did, however, win an ultra-rare Thursday night
home game 4-3 in 1996.
moved south in 1998, Guiseley scrapped in the NPL for a further
season before suffering relegation in 2000. Four years later they
were back. Well, they were kind of back: the pyramid re-shuffle
ensured they were still down at step three, but you know where they’re
supporters are optimistic for the future and seem pretty pleased
with the squad built for the forthcoming 2008/2009 season. One notable
capture is that of young striker Adam [insert rice based desert
joke here] Muller. However it’s worth bearing in mind that
this is the same bunch of supporters who put ‘match-winner’
and ‘Matt O'Halloran’ in the same sentence, so it’s
best to take their optimism with a pinch of salt.
the roll call of Guiseley players past and present, there is one name
in recent years that dominates all around him: brick-laying colossus
started his career at the now defunct Scarborough before moving
to the now defunct Halifax Town. He failed to make any impression
with either club and drifted into the lower reaches of the pyramid
to play in the Northern Premier League for Guiseley, turning out
against Boston on a couple of occasions.
He was an instant success and legend has it that Boston made a cash
offer for the striker shortly before he moved back to Halifax Town
via a spell with Witton and started banging in goals at a prodigious
rate, firing Halifax back into the league with 30 goals in 40 games.
The rest, as they say, is history.
Where do they keep getting caught offside?
Park is home sweet home for Guiseley and, to be fair, it looks like
a good old fashioned non-league ground. Since we have absolutely
nothing to say about it, stare at the below picture instead.
town in its own right historically, Guiseley is now generally considered
a suburb of Leeds as encroaching urban sprawl has slowly subsumed
it. Despite that, the town has managed to retain some of its local
identity. Jesus - even we’ve heard of the town’s main
attraction. Indeed, we’ve actually visited it. It is, of course,
Harry Ramsden’s vast fish and chip emporium.
thanks to various licensing deals with purveyors of processed slop,
the name is more synonymous with frozen haddock corpses in garish
boxes in the freezer aisle at Tesco and out-of-town restaurants
staffed by surly teenage waitresses. It wasn’t always that
way. Once upon a time, Ramsden’s was famous for the quality
of its fish and chips and the Guiseley ‘Fish Palace’
– the world’s largest fish and chip restaurant that
seats up to 250 people. It’s still open and no doubt serves
a decent fish supper. But is it really any better than George’s
in Long Eaton? impsTALK sincerely doubts it.
offer a certificate to anyone who can complete the Ramsden’s
challenge. This involves eating a giant piece of battered cod, an
extra large portion of chips and a large serving of both mushy peas
and tartar sauce. Piffle! impsTALK could knock that bad boy off
in mere seconds, assuming you permit us to swap the mushy peas for
beans and the tartar sauce for a litre or so of Heinz ketchup.
from the chippy heritage, residents seem to be unsure where the
name ‘Guiseley’ originated from. Some appear to be of
the opinion the town is named for a Saxon chief called ‘Gislic’
or ‘Gyselric’, while others seem sure that the name
derives from Geese-ley, as all the other towns in the area seem
based on animals (Sheep-ley, Bat-ley, Otter-ley and so on). It’s
a debate that continues to rage. Well, rage is perhaps the wrong
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