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Marine FC

impsTALK.co.uk > Rough Guides > Opposition > Marine

Club Details
Send hate mail to: The Arriva Stadium
College Road
Crosby
Liverpool
L23 3AS

Tel: 0151 9241743
   
Matchday prices: Adults - £8
Concessions - £4
 
Who the hell are Marine City?
Although founded by a bunch of businessmen and ex-college kids in 1894, Marine only relinquished their amateur status after 80 years as a successful side competing in various regional leagues.

The high point of that history occurred in 1931/32 when Marine secured an appearance in the final of the old FA Amateur Cup. Unfortunately, they lost 7-1 to Dulwich Hamlet.

Years passed, wars happened, billions died - and then, in 1974, Marine decided to become a Big Proper Club by leaving behind their amateur principles and turning ‘professional’, in the non-league sense anyway. They celebrated by winning three Cheshire Championships and the club joined the Northern Premier League in 1979.

Not much happened for a decade or so – Chernobyl turned large parts of the Ukraine into a post-apocalyptic irradiated hellscape, the Soviet Union imploded and someone thought ‘Doop’ was quite cool - until, from out of nowhere, Marine won consecutive NPL titles in 1993/1994 and 1994/1995.

You’ll remember that because they humbled the Pilgrims in the process, tonking us and denying us even a whiff of promotion. Marine themselves were denied entry to the Conference due to their stadium not even slightly meeting the required standards. Take that, you fackers.


Claims to fame
Everyone knows why Marine are famous, and if you don’t you should hang your head in shame. We can’t think of any other NPL club that feature in the Guinness Book of Records, but then it is astronomically rare that a manager even makes it to ten years service, let alone the quite remarkable 33 that Marine gaffer Roly Howard notched up.

Howard was appointed as Marine’s first team manager in 1972 – three years after the moon landings – and remained in charge for a mammoth 1,975 competitive games. And that, folks, is a world record. It makes Dario Grady’s spell at Gresty Road look like Brian Clough’s at Elland Road.

Howard finally left in 2005 after watching Marine fall to Everton in the Scouser Senior Cup, bringing closure to an era in which Marine had picked up thirty trophies and enjoyed their most successful period in club history. Milan Manderic would be turning in his grave, if he were dead. Which he isn’t. But probably sh- (snip!- impsTALK lawyers).


Where do they keep getting caught offside?
Stadium sponsorship is, sadly, something of a necessary evil these days. With money flowing out of the game and into the pockets of sickeningly corrupt chairmen at an ever growing rate, clubs will tattoo a corporate logo on the forehead of the tea-lady if they thought it’d give them enough funds to loan an uninterested Championship reserve player for a week or so.

And so Marine have, unsurprisingly, flogged the naming rights to their Rossett Park ground to the highest bidder. Unfortunately, the highest bidder in this instance just happened to be Arriva. For anyone who has dared venture on public transport in the north of the country, the name Arriva conjures up visions of 1930s vintage steam trains working busy commuter services round Leeds, corroded carriages held together by sellotape, buses powered by two stroke diesel engines, price hikes in triple digit percentage figures and staff who exhibit the customer service skills of your average SS guard.


Aquamarine
Marine are based in the town of Crosby, now generally perceived as an outlying dormitory suburb of Liverpool, some six miles from the city centre.

The town itself is fairly nondescript, but Crosby Beach has attracted enormous interest as the current home of the somewhat controversial art installation Another Place. The work is a collection of a hundred or so cast iron statues, each cast in the shape of the artist, who stand on the sand facing the sea, either in defiance of the encroaching tide/soup of condoms and sewage.

Antony Gormley’s work made its debut in Germany in 1997, touring other beaches around Europe before ending up on Merseyside. It now seems likely that the sculptures will remain as a permanent exhibit, much to the dismay of some prudish local residents who are appalled at the sight of PORNOGRAPHIC depictions of male GENITALIA on the statues. The children… oh my Lord, the children! Who is thinking of the children?

Crosby was also home to a number of those heavily involved in the Titanic disaster, most intriguingly Bruce Ismay, the ship’s designer, and Captain Smith.

Screenwriter Frank Cottrell Boyce also hails from the area, although that's really not very interesting at all.


Boston invade Crosby Beach

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