What
is Skam HD?
Skam HD offers mindblowing picture quality on your HD
ready plasma television - so mindblowing you'll struggle to contain your
bodily fluids. Now you can watch all your favourite shows as if you were actually
there on set. Because of course, you're far too ugly and insignificant
to be on Hollyoaks or Hitler's Henchmen.
What's
on Skam HD?
Thanks to our near-monopolisation of the UK television
market, we pretty much control everything you see and hear on your
tellybox. So it'll come as little surprise to find that we offer the widest
range of HD channels in the entire world - everything from HD sports to
HD Babestation XXXtra, we've got the bastard lot.
Do
I really need Skam HD?
Yes. Yes, you do.
How
do I get Skam HD?
Getting Skam HD is easy. Simply pay us a vast sum of money
and sign yourself into a contract we'll enforce by the removal of limbs
should you attempt to cancel, and we'll send around one of our highly
trained* installation experts** to attach a dish to your home and plug
something into something..... look, you really don't need to know the
details, other than the paying us a vast sum of money bit.
How
much is Skam HD?
Our Skam HD service is now more affordable than ever!
With the box at a mere £49.99, we're offering new customers the
chance to think they can afford all this fucking shit, only to realise
several months down the line that they've had to feed the kids rooftiles
for six solid weeks just to afford the opportunity to watch Chris Barrie's
Great Train Journeys in all its 1080 pixel glory.
INTERESTED?
OF COURSE YOU FUCKING ARE! CLICK BELOW TO LEARN HOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO SKAM
HD.
YES!!! OH YES!!!!
I HAVE A HD READY PLASMA SCREEN AND I WISH TO JOIN THE HD REVOLUTION!
* not actually trained
** expertise in completing 62% of Sun crossword only |