The events at Skamchester’s Christmas party in December 2006 come back to haunt Dazza, Mazza and Bazza as they find themselves being aggressively cross examined by a fearsomely intelligent, if a little coked-up, Islington-based lawyer in the High Court during today’s dramatic episode of Skam One’s raunchy drama Footballers’ Rape Trials.

Will their defence that Witness A was asking for it anyway – with ‘it’ being the anal beasting of Witness A by all three men that left her with internal injuries so severe she’s still wearing a colostomy bag – hold water and see the obscenely wealthy trio freed to their breathlessly stupid wives?

More importantly, will they face the chop from Skamchester United’s squad for the Skam Cup trip to Swansea?